My harshest critic…

Guess who it is? Its probably no surprise to realise it’s me, a fact which I”m sure resonates with many others, whether its conscious or not it seems to be the truth, well for me anyway.

For others I seem to have an infinite amount of compassion and patience, I see lost hurt souls everywhere and my heart is constantly going out to them. I believe as a society we are very quick to condemn, it seems that even the slightest variation to what is deemed ‘normal and acceptable’ is put in the too hard basket. Mistakes, unacceptable. Compassion, not today. I’ve never quite understood this and have spent the a fair majority of my life overcoming the labels and expectations that others have placed upon me to allow myself to just be.

I believe we can all be hasty to judge and I really try not too, but I’m not perfect. I’m acutely aware outside appearances can be deceiving and judgements based on what you ‘see’ is making a lot of uneducated assumptions, rather than taking the time to look deeper and what might be occurring behind the scenes. Until you have walked in the path of another you have no idea what they are actually experiencing in their life, whether it be something from their present situation or from their past that’s influencing their behaviour and decisions today.

For other’s I see this clearly, so I try not to get caught up in gossip, judgements, ‘societal norms’ and what other’s tell me, I base people on who they are today, not their past, I connect at a soul level, I give second chances, I forgive and I very rarely hold a grudge or anger when people have done wrong by me. That doesn’t mean I’m a pushover or let people walk all over me, it just means I have a right to chose if I persevere with relationships or I don’t. There is no judgment, we are who we are and we chose our path, whenever I’m confronted by a harsh situation I try and feel peace and send love. Again I’m not perfect but I don’t hang on to what has been

When it comes to me though, I never seem to feel the same level of compassion. I’m a very hard task master and my standard of what is acceptable for ME is extremely high. This has become increasingly apparent in 2017, one of my most confronting, challenging, liberating  and transformative years of my life. The stuff that has come up and I’ve just had to deal with, well suffice to say I’m bloody exhausted! There have been times where I thought I was being suffocated by my past, overcome with grief for my reactions and the destruction and lack of love I’ve felt for myself and my body, it hurt, a lot. Loneliness and sadness have become my friend in 2017, as have my belief in me, in Spirit and all I am truly capable off. For every rainy day there has always been a rainbow and a lot of love from some surprising places.

So for the last two weeks rather than focussing on how I can serve others, I have been asking each day ‘how can I help me’, because how can I effectively help and guide others, if my cup isn’t full. Yes I am here to bring love and healing to others but I am also here to be happy and joyful, to be at peace, to be loved and love unconditionally. To be proud of who I am today and everything I have achieved, the pattern’s of behaviour that have been reset in my lineage due to the different choices I have made for me.

The last 2 weeks have reminded me of my inner strength and my capacity to never give up, I have always stood up for myself, even when I probably should have stayed quiet, I have always and will always believe in love and its capacity to overcome all, and that my presence on this Earth was for a magical reason. Because there has always been magic, within and without.

So today as I have done everyday for the past 2 weeks I chose ME, I sometimes forget and falter, I still get overwhelmed and judge and criticise myself, but I’m getting better. I realised last week that when I think about myself, my past self, my inner child, anger and frustration rises like no other, why? Because I’m judging myself, feeling inadequate and not where I expected I should be, but by doing this I’m trying to control things I have no say over and creating negative energy and blocking my flow. By recognising this frustration, shame, anger whatever it is and not pushing it away but rather sitting with it and trying to identify where it comes from and then sending peace, these feelings are becoming less and more infrequent. And I am becoming whole, at one with all that I am.

My theme this week it, ‘CHOSE YOU’. Everyday make the choice to choose you. Not out of selfishness or anger but because you honour and recognise that if your not at peace with you, then none of your relationships will be, there will be no flow.

So be kind, be compassionate, be caring…to you…by doing this the rest will flow and all will benefit.

Love and blessings to you all in the week ahead.

Remember the magic comes from within first.

Letitia xxx
Intuitive healer & guide
Bringer of light

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